No Dipsolalia For You

Dipsolalia: n. dip-so-lah-lee-a (phonetic) [from Greek dipsa (thirst) + lalein (chatter)]

Definition: The word is used to describe the disordered, atypical speech mannerisms displayed by an individual who is intoxicated due to the consumption of alcohol. Symptoms include prominent or increased slurring, increased oral spraying of spittle, increased propensity to use profanity (not to be confused with copralalia, narcolalia or amphetolalia), increased tendency to fabricate, and increased braggadacio. Not all symptoms need to be present, but intoxication due to the consumption of alcohol is a prerequisite.

Usage: Used to refer to the perceived existence of the disorder in an individual.

"I couldn't make any sense out of what Petey was saying. Pure gibberish. He had a potent case of dipsolalia."

or:

John's friend: "John! Dude you were so lucky last night that those pro-wrestlers let you walk away unscathed. Your courage-in-a-bottle was making you say things that could have been fatal."

John: "Damn that dipsolalia. My head really hurts."

or:

(In a professional setting): "The patient exhibited signs of acute dipsolalia."

No Narcolalia For You

Narcolalia: n. nah-ko-lah-lee-a (phonetic) [from Greek narkē (numbness) + lalein (chatter)]

Definition: The word is used to describe the disordered, atypical speech mannerisms displayed by an individual who is intoxicated due to the consumption of opiates. Symptoms include prominent or increased slurring, increased oral spraying of spittle, increased propensity to use profanity (not to be cofused with copralalia, dipsolalia or amphetolalia), increased tendency to fabricate, and extremely slow rate of speech. Not all symptoms need to be present, but intoxication due to the consumption of opiates is a prerequisite.

Usage: Used to refer to the perceived existence of the disorder in an individual.

"I wish Petey would take less time to finish a sentence. Narcolalia does that to you."

or:

John's friend: "Dude you kept falling asleep while you were talking last night. It was so boring that I almost fell asleep myself."

John (dribbling): "Huh?"

or:

(In a professional setting): "The patient exhibited signs of acute narcolalia."

No Amphetolalia For You

Amphetolalia: n. am-fet-o-lah-lee-a (phonetic) [from A(MYL) + M(ETHYL) + PH(ENYL) + ET(HYL) + Greek lalein (chatter)]

Definition: The word is used to describe the disordered, atypical speech mannerisms displayed by an individual who is intoxiicated due to amphetamine use. Symptoms include a prominent increase in the tempo of speech, increased oral spraying of spittle, an increased propensity to use profanity (not to be cofused with copralalia, dipsolalia, or narcolalia), and an increased tendency to believe in their own invincibility. Not all symptoms need to be present, but intoxication due to amphetamine use is a prerequisite.

Usage: Used to refer to the perceived existence of the disorder in an individual. (With some thanks to George Orwell)

"Damn, that dude just recited The Rime of The Ancient Mariner in under 2 minutes. Amphetolalia if ever I saw it."

or:

John's friend: "John! Dude you have to slow down, I can't understand a thing. This amphetolalia has no filters, man."

John: "ObedienceisnotenoughUnlessheissufferinghowcanyoubesurethatheisobeyingyourwillandnothisownPowerisininflictingpainandhumiliationPowerisintearinghumanmindstopiecesandputtingthemtogetheragaininnewshapesofyourownchoosingDoyoubegintoseethenwhatkindofworldwearecreatingItistheexactoppositeofthestupidhedonisticUtopiasthattheoldreformersimaginedAworldoffearandtreacheryistormentaworldoftramplingandbeingtrampleduponaworldwhichwillgrownotlessbutmoremercilessasitrefinesitselfProgressinourworldwillbeprogresstowardsmorepainTheoldcivilizationsclaimedthattheywerefoundedonloveorjusticeOursisfoundeduponhatredInourworldtherewillbenoemotionsexceptfearragetriumphandselfabasementEverythingelseweshalldestroyeverythingAlreadywearebreakingdownthehabitsofthoughtwhichhavesurvivedfrombeforetheRevolutionWehavecutthelinksbetweenchildandparentandbetweenmanandmanandbetweenmanandwomanNoonedarestrustawifeorachildorafriendanylongerButinthefuturetherewillbenowivesandnofriendsChildrenwillbetakenfromtheirmothersatbirthasonetakeseggsfromahenThesexinstinctwillbeeradicatedProcreationwillbeanannualformalityliketherenewalofarationcardWeshallabolishtheorgasmOurneurologistsareatworkuponitnowTherewillbenoloyaltyexceptloyaltytowardsthePartyTherewillbenoloveexcepttheloveofBigBrotherTherewillbenolaughterexceptthelaughoftriumphoveradefeatedenemyTherewillbenoartnoliteraturenoscienceWhenweareomnipotentweshallhavenomoreneedofscienceTherewillbenodistinctionbetweenbeautyanduglinessTherewillbenocuriositynoenjoymentoftheprocessoflifeAllcompetingpleasureswillbedestroyedButalwaysdonotforgetthisWinstonalwaystherewillbetheintoxicationofpowerconstantlyincreasingandconstantlygrowingsubtlerAlwaysateverymomenttherewillbethethrillofvictorythesensationoftramplingonanenemywhoishelplessIfyouwantapictureofthefutureimagineabootstampingonahumanfaceforever"

or:

(In a professional setting): "The patient exhibited signs of acute amphetolalia."

There you have it. Three new words that can be used in all types of situations, from the professional to the informal, which makes them quite versatile. Feel free to use them: be fruitful and multiply. The best test - how long it takes until one of these words is used in a domain name registration. I'm wondering too, if the sensation of creating a new word is like a neologasm. Whoa - contretemps! There's another one. Ok, I need some private time with my dictionary.